Thursday, September 20, 2007

Le Pity Party

I sat alone in a cafe today having a little pity party where I was the guest of honor. I'm down on myself because I haven't accomplish nearly as much as I would have liked to accomplish by now and I don't like the fact that I have accomplish everything on my own. In the past I've valued my independence and have worn it like a badge of honor but being here all alone makes me long for a little more dependence and someone to depend upon. What makes matters worse is that I can't easily reach out to my support system of family and friends back home like I used to.

During my pity party this grown man in a suit, riding a rented bike, caught my eye as he consulted a map of Paris.

And like that my pity party ended because scenes like the above are part of the reason why I'm here in France and are something that I'd rarely see if ever in NYC. I also realize that once I accomplish all of the things on my to do list (getting an apartment, opening a bank account, applying for my CDS, etc) I'll feel that much more happy that I was able to accomplish it all mostly on my own. Once that occurs I'll be happy to wear my independence badge once again.


Destination Metz said...

Hang in there! You're doing really well and this part is always a bitch. Everything will turn out, it's just fiddly and annoying unfortunately. Just take a deep breathe, go have a kir and take in the great views of Paris when you get shitty about it. And like you said you'll feel even better when it's over knowing you did it yourrrrrrrrr wayyyyy.

Anonymous said...

Tell it Destination Metz!I think the most important thing to remember is that these things take time. The whole carte de sejour sress will pass just as easily as the 'when will I get my arrete??' stress Take a deep breath and keep at it and try not to worry. It may not seem like it now but in the end all the hurdles you jump will be your badge of honor!

LivInCA said...

I love the briefcases all of the Parisian working men wear. You should take the métro line 1 towards La Défense during the morning commute sometime. The French professional dress code is much different than the American, and if you value men in suits at all, you will not be disappointed!

maureen said...

Do not worry one little bit about having a pity party. it is a great way to appreciate what you have accomplished, once it passes of course. i often have pity parties for myself here (ex pat, living in a place much smaller than paris) and i do them at home. i like the idea of doing them in public because you have more of a chance of being snapped out of it. chin up - you're doing great.

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