They Got Me Covered

My trip to Greece is in exactly two weeks and it feels like I've been planning the adventure for ages. With the maternal unite in tow we will explore mainland Greece and the islands of Santorini for 10 days. Hopefully we don't kill each other.

However, just in case I fall ill or suffer some freakish accident I took a precaution and applied for the European Health Insurance Card or the carte européenne d’assurance maladie as it's called in France. According to the European Commission website:

The card ensures that you will get the same access to public sector health care (e.g. a doctor, a pharmacy, a hospital or a health care centre) as nationals of the country you are visiting. If you have to receive medical attention in a country that charges for health care, you will be reimbursed either immediately, or after you go home to your own country. The idea is that you are given the care you need to allow you to continue with your stay.

That good news for a hypocondriac like myself. I easily applied for the card by submitting a request on the Assurance Maladie website and two weeks later I found the little blue card in my mailbox. The card is valid for one year and will cover me during any visits (personal or business) to any EU countries and a few others. So paying the pied piper isn't so bad afterall and actually has some benefits.

My Acupuncturist the Dragueur

Today I went to see an acupuncturist for treatment of my persistent migraines.

While taking my complete medical history he asked me a whole bunch of questions none of which seemed out of the ordinary. At one point he did inquiry about my relationship status which I found a tad peculiar but I let it slide and the querying continued. However, when he finished asking me all of the "official" questions the following dialog took place:

Acupuncturist: So why are you single?
LE: Uhm I'm not really sure.
Acupuncturist: Do you ever think about why you are single?
LE: Uhm sometimes but generally I have other thoughts that occupy my mind.
Acupuncturist: I don't understand because you are a nice girl.

END SCENE

Now, I may not have a background in ancient Chinese medicine but I'm pretty sure that the above line of questioning is not only unnecessary but totally inappropriate. But I figure with the cost of the session partially being covered by the French social security system and the balance being covered by my mutuelle, making the visit essentially free, I can't really complain can I?

At the Pharmacy

I am an allergy sufferer and to alleviate my symptoms I take a prescription medication year round to keep them in check. Having neither the time nor energy to visit my doctor for a prescription refill I put off the inevitable task of replacing my medication. That is until several weeks ago when my allergies got the best of me and made my daily life unbearable. Seeking relief I went to my local pharmacy and explained my situation to the pharmacist and he gave me a comparable over the counter substitution.

This arrangement worked out well until two days ago when I once again ran out of my substitute medication. Not wanting to suffer as badly as I did last time, I visited my local pharmacy today. The pharmacist who originally supplied my substitute medication wasn't there and I requested a replacement from the woman behind the counter. To my disappointment they were out of my substitute medication and she proposed a substitute for the substitute. I hesitated for a moment and then I told her that I wasn't interested since I normally use a prescription medication but didn't have a prescription and didn't want to try something new yet again. To my surprise and with an expression that said "why didn't you just tell me that in the first place", she told me that she would just give me my usual prescription medication.

As appreciative as I was by her gesture and as happy as I was that the medication only cost less than 10€ even without a prescription, it made me wonder, doesn't this kind of behavior devalue the whole concept of a prescription from a doctor?

Wait For It...

Several week ago I made an appointment to have my lady parts checked out since it's been almost two years since my last visit. Having already seen several doctors here in France and hearing stories from friends I thought I would be fully prepared for the experience or so I thought.

On the day of my appointment I arrived at the office and am greeted by the receptionist who asks me if I was referred to them by the American University to which I replied non (not so bad so far). After providing some administrative information I was escorted into the where several other women were already waiting (ok I got this). Then after a 10 minute wait the doctor came to get me and escorted me into her office. All along I'm thinking to myself "I've got this in the bag" or so I thought.

In the doctor's office I was asked to give a detailed medical history and then was asked to disrobe for the examination. No, I wasn't given a modest gown but I was mentally prepared for that and I even made a joke about the experience being different than in the US. I sit down on the examination chair/table all ready for my exam the doctor proceeds to take my blood pressure. As we are waiting for the results the doctor takes a seat on her examination stool. As my final blood pressure is displayed to the doctor she peers up from between my legs and asks "is your blood pressure usually this high?" What I really wanted to respond with was "it's only this high because you waited until I was completely disrobed and in the most awkward position possible to actually take my blood pressure. Generally speaking, my blood pressure actually quite normal" but all I managed to murmur at that instant was "no, it's not".

Sometimes My Life is a Joke

Top 3 reasons why my life is sometimes a joke:

1. Went to the Post Office today and was greeted with this signage:


2. Received a letter from my old mutuelle telling me that they plan to credit my bank account for the remainder of my doctor's payment not covered by social security. (On the surface this probably doesn't seem so bad but it actually means that I'll be caused headaches at some point in the future).

3. Made my second trip to Flo Bio to pick up the results of some blood work and was nonchalantly told to come back on Friday because the "first results came back positive so they sent the sample to another lab to be analyzed."* Uhm ok nice job dropping a bomb on me and telling me that I have to wait another 2 days before I know for sure.

* Disclaimer: I'm not pregnant and no the blood tests weren't for anything serious

Why I Won't Be Shopping Tomorrow

Les soldes start tomorrow, the twice a year extravaganza when the French government permits stores to markdown their inventories usually from 30-70%. This year I had every intention of playing hooky, I mean using an RTT day, and checking out the scene with some friends. That is until I got sick however, all hope wasn't lost but I'm still just a little too American for my own good.

You see I went to the doctor yesterday and she basically told me to sleep off my angine. This would have been perfectly sound advice had I not traveled 40 minutes on the metro and paid 70 euros for her to tell me to continue doing what I had been doing for the past 3 days. Moving on, since I didn't go to work on Monday she wrote me the French equivalent of a doctor's note. In the process of filling out the form she asked me if I wanted to take off on Tuesday and Wednesday to give myself enough time to rest. Initially I thought "cha-ching, soldes here I come" but then my conscience got the better of me and I told her that 2 days (Monday and Tuesday) would be just fine and I should be feeling better enough by Wednesday to go to work.

And that my friends is how I shot myself in the foot and am too American for my own good. No soldes for me, at least not on the first day.

Les Suppositoires

Today I feel like I swallowed a box of razor blades and they are stuck in the back of my throat. Most of the day I've been tending to my ills by taking some throat lozenges, Advil, emergen-c, zicam and oscillococcinum. By this evening I wasn't feeling much better and decided to take a trip to my local pharmacy to see if there was anything stronger that they could recommend as I didn't want another sleepless night. I enlisted the help of a French speaking friend because of my past experiences at the pharmacy.

I wasn't paying much attention to what the pharmacist was saying because my head was pounding and my throat was aching and I figured that my friend had the situation under control. But then the pharmacist said something that made me perk up and pay attention. He said "suppositoire" which is the French for suppository and that was my cue chime in and I began to shake my head adamantly in disagreement. Apparently, the pain medication in suppository form is a lot more effective than the tablets. But the way I see it, I've been sick all day, the ineffective pills have got to be better than nothing right? Just say no to unnecessary suppositories.

S.O.S

When I lived in the US I knew exactly how to find a doctor. I would consult the big ole directory given to me from my insurance company and I would basically pick a doctor out of the book. My criteria usually being location, board certified, school and name. If I didn't use the hard copy directory I would use the online directory. And voila I would call the selected doctor and make an appointment. Being here in Paris I have absolutely no idea how to go about finding a doctor and I have no idea how to go about getting my allergy medicine refilled. Now that spring is in the air I know it's just a matter of days before I wake up unable to breathe through my nose. So dear readers, if any of you know how to go about seeing a doctor in this country with excellent socialized health care please hook a sista up. Also, if you know whether or not I actually need a prescription for my allergy medication that would be helpful as well.

And while we're on the topic of trained medical professionals I think my days are crunching on crispy baguettes have caught up with me. As I was enjoying my lunch today I sensed a weird sensation in my mouth. Turns out that a piece of the bonding on my permanent retainer has chipped off and now I have a rough spot on the back of my teeth. It's not an orthodontic emergency at the moment but it does have the potential to worsen and it would be nice to know where to turn prior to things getting completely out of hand.

So consider this post my S.O.S. If you have any valuable information to share please leave it in the comments. My nose and my tongue thank you. Seriously.